


Clumsy

by tinygaymoonfae



Series: Fire and the Flood [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Enemies to Friends, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Other, angst but a happy ending, but it's ok we forgive him, dex is an idiot, maybe he does but shush, nby dex, nby nursey, no dex doesn't have a crush shhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:32:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9042326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinygaymoonfae/pseuds/tinygaymoonfae
Summary: Okay so Dex is NOT homophobic.  He's not.  He's just incredibly jealous of his nby teammate.  And maybe a little infatuated by his smile.





	

     Nursey felt his heart pounding in his chest as he sat with his teammates. No one was talking, too focused on Bitty’s latest bakery masterpiece to use their mouths for anything but eating. He could wait; there was no reason to disrupt the pleasant atmosphere with serious talk. But…no, he knew he couldn’t. He’d already waited long enough, and he was tired of it. So he took a deep breath and put down his plate.

     “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you guys,” he said in as steady of a voice as he could manage. Promptly, the entire team turned to him with eyes full of concern. He could do this…right?

     “What is it hon. You can tell us anything,” Bitty said.

     “I—um—I’m nonbinary—ah, genderqueer to be exact. I don’t care what pronouns you use for me, I just thought you should know so you weren’t surprised if I wear um…dresses or whatever.” God could everyone hear his heartbeat thumping or was it just him?        

     “S’wawesome dude!” Ransom said. “Wait shit is it okay to call you that?”

     “Thanks for trusting us,” Holster added.

     “There you go stealing Shitty’s lines,” Ransom chirped.

     “Well fuck brah, he didn’t copywrite them!” Holster chirped back.

     “Is there anything we should know? Like can we call you dude or is that not okay with you? Don’t wanna misgender you, that’s wicked uncool.” Chowder looked at him intently, clearly taking his question very seriously. It took Nursey a moment to speak; he had to clear his throat to avoid crying.

     “Yeah, it’s okay. Maybe I’ll change my mind, but right now call me whatever. Thanks everyone I…wow I really appreciate it.” For a few minutes, the team sat in companionable silence before they went back to eating pie and chirping each other mercilessly. That is, everyone except Dex, who seemed stiff and ill at ease until he finally slipped away at the first opportunity.

 

     Dex was not homophobic. Sure, he’d grown up in a small town with little exposure to new ideas, but since coming to Samwell that past autumn he’d certainly made up for it. So why he felt his stomach clench when Nursey came out is beyond him. Okay, so maybe not…beyond him. Maybe it had stirred feelings he’d repressed long ago. Maybe he’d seen how everyone reacted and felt every nerve in his body short-circuit with envy. But...no, that was not true, Dex reasoned. No, he just didn’t like big shows of emotion that was all. He was a guy through and through. So no, he did not start crying the second he got to his dorm. And he did not stay up all night with an empty pit in his stomach. Because he was guy and he liked it.

     Dex was not avoiding Nursey. Not at all, and he resented the accusation. He just had a lot on his plate and couldn’t linger after practice. It had nothing to do with the hint of mascara on Nursey’s lashes or the jewelry he had started to wear. Dex wasn’t avoiding Nursey, so when Holster and Ransom kept him after practice to talk about an upcoming kegster it was not a problem. It just happened to upset Dex’s carefully timed schedule that just so happened to prevent him from seeing Nursey (which is not the same as avoiding).

     Nursey walked out of the showers, patterned tights already plastered onto his legs. Nursey rummaged through his bag before pulling out a dusty blue sweater dress. Dex swallowed, unintentionally tuning out everything but Nursey. It contrasted perfectly against his warm skin. Nursey put the dress on—God it fit perfectly— and did a quick twirl. Dex was absolutely screwed. By now, Ransom and Holster had noticed his dazed expression and were trying to get his attention.

     “Dex, you okay?” Ransom asked gently. Nursey turned and saw Dex staring.

     “Take a picture, Poindexter, it’ll last longer,” he said flirtatiously.

     “Shut up,” Dex replied. Not terribly creative but his eyes felt prickly and God had his jeans always been this tight? “I have to…bye.” Dex grabbed his bag and bolted for the exit. He most certainly did not run all the way back to his dorm, and he most definitely did not have his hand down his pants the second the door was locked. And if he did, he most definitely did not think of blue sweater dresses or shout a particular teammates name as he climaxed.

                                                                                                  *********

Nursey had an idea about why Dex was acting so strange and he didn’t like it one bit.  It was a shame, he’d found the freckled boy quite cute when they first met.  Sure, they argued like no one’s business, but Nursey couldn’t deny that Dex was just his type--sweet with a couple side orders of awkward.

            But if his suspicions were true then it didn’t matter if he was his type.  Because no beautiful freckles or golden eyes or timid smiles could make up for being an outright bigot.  Well, not outright, which was almost more of a problem than if he’d just called him names.  Nursey was used to it by now he could move on from insults.  But the game they were playing was beyond anything he’d ever seen.  And if he was going to deal with it, he’d need reinforcements.

            “Bitty, I’m not making this up, am I?  I swear he’s avoiding me, especially since he saw me in that dress.”  Nursey spoke from the kitchen countertop, where he was currently perched to watch Bitty make cookies.  It broke haus rules, but on days like this Bitty would allow it.

            “You’re not, I’ve noticed it too.  You two have never gotten along, but this is something else.  Normally I’d say forget him and move on.  But…”  Bitty stopped, looking at Nursey seriously.  “Maybe I’m wrong but I swear there’s something more here.  Sometimes I see him looking at you and it’s like he’s just dying to say something.”

            “You saying I should, what, draft a treaty?  Extend the olive branch?”  Nursey said with halfhearted sarcasm.  He’d sensed it too and he couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in that ginger head.

            “At least talk to him and see what’s going on.”

            Nursey wasn’t pleased that Bitty was right, even though he’d come to him in the first place.

            “Okay, but how am I going to get him to talk to me if he won’t stay in the same room as me long enough to say hi?”

            “Don’t worry, I’ve got an idea,” Bitty said, already pulling his phone out of his pocket.

 

_Bitty: I need some help in the kitchen, mind coming over?_

_Bitty:  I’ll let you lick the spoon_

_Dex: Sure thing, be there in 10_

            Dex had no idea why Bitty was asking him for help, but he knew there was something fishy going on.  Then again, he was a sucker for Bitty’s baking and he couldn’t bring himself to pass up the opportunity.  So he closed his textbook and slipped on sneakers.  He hadn’t really been reading anyway.

            Part of him was preparing for a lecture, which he knew he deserved.  That didn’t make it any less anxiety inducing.  Despite the cool January air, Dex felt hot.  His skin was tight and his movements were awkward.  Since the semester started, though, he’d become aware of so many things he hated about his appearance.  Not the usual, his ears, and ever-expanding freckles, but his shoulders and jaw line and awful ugly legs and—he stopped, taking a deep breath.  There was no need to dwell on that and risk crying in front of Bitty.

            By the time he made it to the haus, he had shoved his thoughts back into place.  He opened the door and walked purposefully to the kitchen.

            “Okay, Bitty, what do you need?” he asked, but Bitty was nowhere to be seen.  Instead, Nursey sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea between his beautiful hands. 

 _Stop that Dex._  
  
Shit, the haus was so quiet.  No one else was here.

Fuck.

     “Don’t run away again, Will, I think we need to talk,” Nursey said in a strange monotone voice.  He gestured to the chair next to him and Dex complied, falling into it without protest.  Why had he sat down?  Now if he ran it would be even more rude.

     Silence.  Neither of them wanted to speak first.  Dex turned his head down, avoiding Nursey’s gaze until he felt eyes boring holes in his skull.

      “Do I repulse you that much?”  Nursey asked coolly.

     “Repulse me—how?  Oh God, no, Nursey I, God no you’re so--” he stopped himself just in time, before beautiful or gorgeous could roll off his unruly tongue.

     “I don’t care what you think of me, you know that right?  So if you have a problem with my gender then either learn to live with it or spit it out.  We don’t have to be friends, but we’re stuck as teammates.”

     Dex opened his mouth, shut it, and opened it again.  He could feel his resolve breaking.  Maybe he hadn’t shoved his thoughts back into place as neatly as he had hoped.  The only thing that could be worse than fighting with Nursey was crying in front of him, he realized vaguely as the first tears began to fall from his eyes.

     “Please…I…I’m so sorry, Derek, I promise it’s not like that,” he whispered.

      Nursey seemed to be at a loss for words, a rare occurrence. 

      Without thinking, Dex continued, “I never knew there was a word for it, that it was a real thing and not something wrong with my head.  I tried to…to get answers, but it’s hard when you don’t even have a word for what you’re feeling.”

      Dex turned his gaze to Nursey’s face, locking eyes with him.  It was too late to turn back now.  “But it doesn’t matter does it?  I’m not like you, I’m not rich or beautiful or charismatic.  I have no friends to cheer for me, and no amount of clothes could change how wrong I am inside,” He laughed hoarsely.  “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” He ended with a huff, casting his eyes downward again.  Whatever had possessed him to speak had left as suddenly as it appeared.

      “You’re…jealous?”  Nursey said softly.

      “Yes—no—maybe, I don’t…just forget I said anything and keep on hating me.”  Dex tried to stand but Nursey grabbed his hand.

      “No, I most certainly will not forget anything.  Dex we’re going to talk about this now.”  Nursey paused, thinking. “Please, we’re teammates, and we have to be there for each other.” When Dex made no move to sit, Nursey continued.  “I want to be friends with you, you know.  Despite how you’ve been acting I still…I don’t hate you, if you’re wondering.  It really hurt to think that you were disgusted by me, I’m not going to lie that was hard.  But if you want to make up for it you need to talk to me.”

       They stayed that way for some time, Nursey clutching Dex’s hand.  Neither of them lowered their gaze, daring the other to move first.  But after a while Dex sighed, nodded, and sat down again.

     “I really am sorry, I’ve been a jerk, and you didn’t deserve that.  If you can’t forgive me I understand.”

     “Thank you.  I’m glad that at least you aren’t some bigot,” Nursey admitted.

     “God no, I’m not perfect but I’m not that bad I don’t think.”

     They didn’t speak for a moment, just happy that the issue was finally resolved.

     “Nursey how—I mean—how do you do it?  I’m so confused…”

      Nursey took his hand again.  “You take it one day at a time.  And now you’re not doing it alone, so that should help.”

     “What?  Why are you being so nice to me?  I’m a jerk, remember.” 

      Nursey shrugged, not entirely sure of the decision himself.  “Maybe, but you’re also confused and alone and I’ve been there.  I’m not saying I forgive you completely but if you stop hiding things from me then we’ll get there.”

     Dex started to cry again, but not because he was sad.  Because for once, maybe Nursey was right and he wasn’t alone.

     “So, now that we have that cleared up,” Nursey say, voice considerably more cheerful.  “You really think I’m beautiful and charismatic?”

     “Oh God, shut up please!”  And yes, maybe there was blush creeping across his cheeks and a smile so big it hurt plastered on his lips.  Nursey wiggled his eyebrows.  Everything wasn’t exactly right, but it was a whole lot better.

 

 

 

            Nursey gently poked him with his elbow.  The team was settled at Annie’s for some coffee.  Dex wasn’t sure, but he thought Nursey might have warned everyone about why they were meeting, because they’d been unusually kind to him.  In the back of his mind Dex felt his old fears telling him he could wait, but he was tired of that.  So he took a deep breath and cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention.

            “There’s something I need to tell you guys.  So—um—first off I want to say I’m sorry.  I’ve been a real jerk lately and I know how it must have seemed.”  Nursey nodded, encouraging him.  “But there’s a reason and I promise it’s not what you think.  Hearing Nursey come out made me…remember something I’d been trying to forget and…well.  I’m nonbinary too.  I don’t know anything about labels or pronouns or all that but...when I figure it out I’ll tell you,” he paused, “if you want to know, that is.”

            His heart was pounding.  He could barely breathe.  It was too late, he knew it was, no one would want him on the team anymore and he’d lose everything and he deserved it he—

            “S’wawsome Dex, I’m really glad you figured that out!”  Chowder said, interrupting his thoughts.

            “Yeah, same.  Thanks for telling us,” Ransom added.

            “But next time, just cut straight to the honesty okay?  This was exhausting,” Holster chirped.

              For a few minutes, the team sat in companionable silence, collectively breathing a sigh of relief.  This time, though, even Dex was happy.  It was going to be okay.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to my incredible beta and qp the-z-part, find her on tumblr. She saved me when I had more grammar issues than I thought possible. 
> 
> I love nurseydex and this idea would not let me go! There's a sequel coming soon so stay tuned!
> 
> Title from the song "clumsy" by Fergie.


End file.
